Thomas Quinn is an Emmy-nominated producer and writer for television and print, an author and speaker, and a skeptic.

He received his M.F.A. from the American Film Institute, worked as a story analyst for DreamWorks, Universal and HBO, and was a film critic and entertainment reporter for a Los Angeles weekly.

In 2005, Tom received two Emmy nominations as writer and producer of "Beyond the Da Vinci Code" for the History Channel.

Originally from New Jersey, he now lives in Los Angeles.

Santa Caught in Massive Wealth Redistribution Scheme

It puts ObamaCare and the Stimulus Package to shame.

Santa Claus, a.k.a. St. Nicholas, an alleged toymaker and gift-giver based in the North Pole (thus far, no authorities have seen his operation) is at the center of a wealth redistribution scheme of global proportions. Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber are both suffering strokes at the news.

The Father Christmas plan calls for the world-wide dispersal of unearned income (usually in the guise of nutcrackers, bicycles, dolls or video games) to every household on earth. Beneficiaries of this unfunded giveaway would receive this compensation for nothing more than being “nice.” The IRS has launched an investigation into how the Jolly Old Elf sustains such an enterprise, which has no apparent source of revenue.

What’s worse, the target of this vast welfare scheme seems to be children, who would wake up Christmas morning with the idea that generosity is a good thing. Tea Party activists are fuming. “The guy’s a socialist, plain and simple, and he’s spreading it across the globe. Look at that red suit! We need to know where he gets his funding. Are his elves forced to join a union? And is that sleigh even flight approved?”

Incredibly, the operation involves no less than a billion acts of breaking and entering, usually through the chimney. (No one is sure how he gets into solar-powered homes.) The U.S. Border Patrol and the U.S. Trade Commission are both shocked that the Claus scheme also calls for repeated border crossings without a passport, and the importation of Christmas treasures without a permit. “He’s a threat to national security,” say officials. “We’ve got no paperwork on him. How do we really know what’s in that bag?”

The ASPCA also is reviewing the impact this plan has on Santa’s eight reindeer. “Around the world in one night? In the dead of winter?” said one spokesperson. “That’s sounding like animal cruelty to me.” Others were more concerned with the “fallout” from having a herd of deer hovering over private homes for hours at a time. It could leave a real mess on the roof.

When the press caught up with him for a comment, Santa merely stated, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Then he drove out of sight.



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